Hair Today, Pun Tomorrow

Ella riffs on hair, haircuts, and hairstyles.

Hair Puns

I mustache you a question. You should hair me out. I will have to be bowld.

While eyebrows through puns, will you mullet over?  You don’t have to be abraid to giggle–later you can say that your sideburns from laughing so much.

If you were a boy and knew these puns, curls would be flocking to you!

Once they get a quiff of these puns, they’ll never want to go back.

But some silly people might just dread these puns.  They’ll say “Permagerd!”  Inside they are trying not to dye laughing.  When other people start using these puns, you’ll have to say “Mousse over.  This is my turf!”

So I’ll have to pixie some puns and go out…

 

Need help?  These are the hairy words to look for:  mustache, hair, bowl (as in haircut), eyebrows, mullet, braid, sideburns, curls, quaff, dread (as in locks), perm, dye, mousse, pixie (haircut).

Remember the Er-ma-gerd girl?  Permagerd, whair have you been the last five years?

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School Days Artwork

Ella is back in school and enjoying it!  She likes her teachers and she likes seeing friends and classmates every day.  I’m glad, because her teacher have so many interesting tools for teaching and so much more experience than I had.

One project we did in the Country Home Academy keeps cropping up in Ella’s notebook:  Zentangles!  Here are a couple:

Ella's notebook paper Zentangle

Ella’s notebook paper Zentangle

A Zentangle "H" Ella made for a poster.

A Zentangle “H” Ella made for a poster.

Now I sometimes find Ella studying the our Zentangle book, for new ideas.  Yay!

Ella’s grandmother died about ten years ago, leaving a case of all kinds of paints and brushes.  Ella recently discovered a box of watercolors, and painted this tree.

Ella's watercolor tree

Ella’s watercolor tree

“I love how brilliant these colors are!” said Ella.  “School watercolors are so…so lame.”

It’s true, and it’s sad that students have such poor quality supplies to work with.  When I was a student, we had so-called “safety” scissors:  blunt tipped scissors that could barely cut anything.  They probably were safe, but I know for certain that they were frustrating.  School scissors have improved greatly.  Now it’s time for school watercolors to follow suit.

Are you listening, Prang?

 

Bob ’n Sox: The Field Trip

In Kitty City, Bob and Sox were basically famous. That is why on a chilly Thursday, Bob got a call from Kitty City’s Elementary principal. Principal Calico said,“Mr. Bob, my kinder cats would like to see your lab. I was hoping to arrange a time for them to come.”

”How many kinder cats are there?” Bob asked cautiously.

”About thirty-five,” said Principal Calico.

Bob replied,”Alright, but today my assistant Sox and I are performing some dangerous experiments. Could you bring them tomorrow?”

”Sounds fine. How about tomorrow at 10:00 a.m?” asked Principal Calico.

”Perfect,” said Bob happily.

”Well, have a nice day Mr. Bob.”

”You too, Principal Calico.”

Bob told Sox and they did their last experiment of the day. Next they cleaned the lab. Sox washed beakers and coffee mugs, and put up a new light bulb for the bathroom sink. Bob mopped the floors, filed some papers, and brought out some large tables with the help of Sox, for the kittens’ lunch. They were set.

The next morning, Bob slept late, until about 6:00 a.m. Sox was already in the lab when Bob walked in. She was doing some last minute things. There was a mug of kitty coffee already on the table, with whipped cream and all. Once Sox had put all the books in their correct order, she retired to her armchair. Bob joined her in his armchair.

Sox broke the sleepy silence by saying,”Do you think we should do a fun experiment to show them, Bob?”

Bob said,”That’s a good idea Sox.  What should we show them?”

”What about,” wondered Sox,”using food to make paint!”

”That’s perfect, Sox!”

”We could put the pictures on the lab walls!”

”Then we could make CDs for their parents!”

”I’ll run to the store!”said Sox before Bob could say another word.

It was nine-thirty before Sox got back, her arms were full of blackberries, beets, cocoa powder, turmeric, and mustard powder. Bob got the rest. There was a knock at the door.

Bob opened the door, to see thirty-five little smiling faces and around eight taller cats also smiling. He welcomed them in. He told them about what he and Sox did, and told them about lab safety. Next he started the tour. Sox told them about her work with Bob, and how they had been best friends for most of their lives.

After the tour, Bob sat them down and with the help of the teachers, brought out the supplies. The kittens were all very happy mushing the blackberries, grating the beets, and mixing the mustard, cocoa, and turmeric with water. They painted wonderful pictures which Bob and Sox copied onto CDs for parents, and hung the originals on the lab walls.

This was the first of what later became known as the annual ”Bob ’n Sox Day.”

Elephants

At birth, the average weight of an elephant is 200-250 pounds (lb). The young elephant takes several months to gain full control of its trunk. Elephants are mammals. That means they give live birth and are fed milk.

These mammals are herbivores, that means they don’t eat meat. They eat things like grasses, leaves, bamboo, bark, and roots. Elephants also eat crops like banana and sugarcane which are grown by humans and are unnaturally planted on the land. In twenty-four hours the adult elephant can eat as much as 660 lb.

The main threat for elephants is habitat loss. Human populations are taking more and more land for agriculture, building cities, and hunting, or poaching because to hunt elephantsis illegal. They are an endangered species because of natural disasters and human interaction.

They do not deserve this. They make family bonds, have emotions, and altogether are extremely intelligent creatures. That in my opinion is something that should be preserved.

Bob’n Sox: The Missing Turtle

Sox had a big family. She had nine siblings, twenty-three aunts and uncles, and who could forget about her dear grandmothers. One of these dear grandmothers was named Charlotte. Charlotte was a kind calico. She loved all her children and grandchildren.

Charlotte almost never asked for favors, but she had turtle that liked to wander. When the turtle got lost she would be worried sick. That was the reason she called Sox’s cell phone at work. Bob and Sox were testing out their new invention: the Kitten Crate, equipped with snacks, an automatic arm for balls of string, a robotic mouse, and several board games. The cats were in the middle of testing, when Sox heard her telephone ring.

She answered with a “Hello, Sox Tabby speaking.” The reply was a hysterical meow from the other end. Bob worked on his invention while Sox asked Charlotte if she had looked in the turtle case.

When Sox was done talking on the phone, she said, “Do you remember Tomato, my grandmother’s  turtle?” Bob nodded. “She’s missing again,” said Sox.

“Has Charlotte looked in the back yard?” asked Bob.  That’s where Tomato was found, the last time she went missing.  “Does this mean we have to fix the The Turtle Tailer?” he added.

“Yes and yes,” Sox meowed.

“We have to find it first,” commented Bob.

That is exactly what took them the next three hours to do. Sox found The Turtle Tailer under the microscope table. To fix it, the cats had to replace the scanner that looked for a chip installed in Tomato’s shell. The Turtle Tailer could also be programmed to track a specific gene in a turtle or other animal.

After the cats finished their repair, they headed to Sox’s grandmother’s house. They set up The Turtle Tailer, and went inside so the machine could do its work. Charlotte  made her famous Catnip Crispy Treats. Bob directed The Turtle Tailer from a catPad.

Bob and Sox had just finished all the Catnip Crispy Treats, when Bob exclaimed, “I found Tomato! She’s in the fridge!”

Charlotte meowed. “I was getting her a tomato. She must have crawled in while the door was open!’’ she said.

They opened the fridge door and there was Tomato, gorging herself on the tomatoes!

Camels

Camels are mammals. They are known for being able to survive in desert conditions without food and water for weeks at a time. They store fat in their humps. This fat is used for energy. When this energy is used, the humps deflate until the camel rehydrates.

There are two kinds of camels, the Bactrian and the Dromedary. They are easy to distinguish. Bactrian camels have two humps, Dromedaries have only one.

Humans use camels for transportation. At their maximum speed camels can run 40 miles per hour (mph) for a short period of time. They can run a steady 25 mph for a longer time.  These speeds make them about as fast as a horse.

Camels’ most common habitat is deserts. They are hunted for their wool and meat. Bactrian camels are one of Earth’s most rare mammal species. One of camels’ defensive reactions is spitting.

Camels are very interesting creatures that should be preserved.

Lainey’s Kittens

I have a cat named Lainey.  Lainey is creamy orange tabby. She is a small cat. When Lainey came to us she was a fat kitten. She was fat from then on.  Before we could have her spayed, Lainey got sick. When she was taking her medicine she couldn’t be fixed. After she was well again, we forgot about fixing her. Soon Lainey became even rounder than she already was.

Miss Lainey had kittens on the April 17th, 2014. They were born on a drizzly Thursday. Lainey gave birth to the kittens in a small cat bed. At the time the other cats were eating. She was screeching her little cat head off when she gave birth.

There were five of them in all. Two were beautiful baby girls, both calicos: one is small and more tabby-like but still a calico, and the other isn’t much larger and has a quarter of an orange tabby face. Three were sweet orange tabbies:  we know that two were boys. Sadly one of these adorable orange kittens died. Its name was Banana and the poor little kitten is always loved.

Lainey, my cousin Alanna, and I have named them Poppy the small calico, Rose the quarter tabby calico, Felix the smaller tabby, and Simon the large tabby.

Poppy is the smallest, but her eyes started to open first. Cats’ eyes usually open in five to nine days from when they are born. Lainey’s kittens will probably have theirs open in nine.

The kittens are very adorable, but not very active (yet). They huddle up with their Mom, and sit on top of each other. Best of all is when they make little noises or when they give a huge yawn and stretch their itty bitty kitten paws.

Lainey is very protective of her new kittens and loves them very much. She trusts us enough to hold the kittens even when she is around.

These kittens are lucky to have a loving, trusting and very beautiful mother.

Lainey and Her Kittens

Lainey and Her Kittens