Hair Today, Pun Tomorrow

Ella riffs on hair, haircuts, and hairstyles.

I mustache you a question. You should hair me out. I will have to be bowld.

While eyebrows through puns, will you mullet over?  You don’t have to be abraid to giggle–later you can say that your sideburns from laughing so much.

If you were a boy and knew these puns, curls would be flocking to you!

Once they get a quiff of these puns, they’ll never want to go back.

But some silly people might just dread these puns.  They’ll say “Permagerd!”  Inside they are trying not to dye laughing.  When other people start using these puns, you’ll have to say “Mousse over.  This is my turf!”

So I’ll have to pixie some puns and go out…

 

Need help?  These are the hairy words to look for:  mustache, hair, bowl (as in haircut), eyebrows, mullet, braid, sideburns, curls, quaff, dread (as in locks), perm, dye, mousse, pixie (haircut).

Remember the Er-ma-gerd girl?  Permagerd, whair have you been the last five years?

School Days Artwork

Ella is back in school and enjoying it!  She likes her teachers and she likes seeing friends and classmates every day.  I’m glad, because her teacher have so many interesting tools for teaching and so much more experience than I had.

One project we did in the Country Home Academy keeps cropping up in Ella’s notebook:  Zentangles!  Here are a couple:

Ella’s notebook paper Zentangle

A Zentangle “H” Ella made for a poster.

Now I sometimes find Ella studying the our Zentangle book, for new ideas.  Yay!

Ella’s grandmother died about ten years ago, leaving a case of all kinds of paints and brushes.  Ella recently discovered a box of watercolors, and painted this tree.

Ella’s watercolor tree

“I love how brilliant these colors are!” said Ella.  “School watercolors are so…so lame.”

It’s true, and it’s sad that students have such poor quality supplies to work with.  When I was a student, we had so-called “safety” scissors:  blunt tipped scissors that could barely cut anything.  They probably were safe, but I know for certain that they were frustrating.  School scissors have improved greatly.  Now it’s time for school watercolors to follow suit.

Are you listening, Prang?

 

Bob ’n Sox: The Field Trip

In Kitty City, Bob and Sox were basically famous. That is why on a chilly Thursday, Bob got a call from Kitty City’s Elementary principal. Principal Calico said,“Mr. Bob, my kinder cats would like to see your lab. I was hoping to arrange a time for them to come.”

”How many kinder cats are there?” Bob asked cautiously.

”About thirty-five,” said Principal Calico.

Bob replied,”Alright, but today my assistant Sox and I are performing some dangerous experiments. Could you bring them tomorrow?”

”Sounds fine. How about tomorrow at 10:00 a.m?” asked Principal Calico.

”Perfect,” said Bob happily.

”Well, have a nice day Mr. Bob.”

”You too, Principal Calico.”

Bob told Sox and they did their last experiment of the day. Next they cleaned the lab. Sox washed beakers and coffee mugs, and put up a new light bulb for the bathroom sink. Bob mopped the floors, filed some papers, and brought out some large tables with the help of Sox, for the kittens’ lunch. They were set.

The next morning, Bob slept late, until about 6:00 a.m. Sox was already in the lab when Bob walked in. She was doing some last minute things. There was a mug of kitty coffee already on the table, with whipped cream and all. Once Sox had put all the books in their correct order, she retired to her armchair. Bob joined her in his armchair.

Sox broke the sleepy silence by saying,”Do you think we should do a fun experiment to show them, Bob?”

Bob said,”That’s a good idea Sox.  What should we show them?”

”What about,” wondered Sox,”using food to make paint!”

”That’s perfect, Sox!”

”We could put the pictures on the lab walls!”

”Then we could make CDs for their parents!”

”I’ll run to the store!”said Sox before Bob could say another word.

It was nine-thirty before Sox got back, her arms were full of blackberries, beets, cocoa powder, turmeric, and mustard powder. Bob got the rest. There was a knock at the door.

Bob opened the door, to see thirty-five little smiling faces and around eight taller cats also smiling. He welcomed them in. He told them about what he and Sox did, and told them about lab safety. Next he started the tour. Sox told them about her work with Bob, and how they had been best friends for most of their lives.

After the tour, Bob sat them down and with the help of the teachers, brought out the supplies. The kittens were all very happy mushing the blackberries, grating the beets, and mixing the mustard, cocoa, and turmeric with water. They painted wonderful pictures which Bob and Sox copied onto CDs for parents, and hung the originals on the lab walls.

This was the first of what later became known as the annual ”Bob ’n Sox Day.”

Elephants

At birth, the average weight of an elephant is 200-250 pounds (lb). The young elephant takes several months to gain full control of its trunk. Elephants are mammals. That means they give live birth and are fed milk.

These mammals are herbivores, that means they don’t eat meat. They eat things like grasses, leaves, bamboo, bark, and roots. Elephants also eat crops like banana and sugarcane which are grown by humans and are unnaturally planted on the land. In twenty-four hours the adult elephant can eat as much as 660 lb.

The main threat for elephants is habitat loss. Human populations are taking more and more land for agriculture, building cities, and hunting, or poaching because to hunt elephantsis illegal. They are an endangered species because of natural disasters and human interaction.

They do not deserve this. They make family bonds, have emotions, and altogether are extremely intelligent creatures. That in my opinion is something that should be preserved.

Bob’n Sox: The Missing Turtle

Sox had a big family. She had nine siblings, twenty-three aunts and uncles, and who could forget about her dear grandmothers. One of these dear grandmothers was named Charlotte. Charlotte was a kind calico. She loved all her children and grandchildren.

Charlotte almost never asked for favors, but she had turtle that liked to wander. When the turtle got lost she would be worried sick. That was the reason she called Sox’s cell phone at work. Bob and Sox were testing out their new invention: the Kitten Crate, equipped with snacks, an automatic arm for balls of string, a robotic mouse, and several board games. The cats were in the middle of testing, when Sox heard her telephone ring.

She answered with a “Hello, Sox Tabby speaking.” The reply was a hysterical meow from the other end. Bob worked on his invention while Sox asked Charlotte if she had looked in the turtle case.

When Sox was done talking on the phone, she said, “Do you remember Tomato, my grandmother’s  turtle?” Bob nodded. “She’s missing again,” said Sox.

“Has Charlotte looked in the back yard?” asked Bob.  That’s where Tomato was found, the last time she went missing.  “Does this mean we have to fix the The Turtle Tailer?” he added.

“Yes and yes,” Sox meowed.

“We have to find it first,” commented Bob.

That is exactly what took them the next three hours to do. Sox found The Turtle Tailer under the microscope table. To fix it, the cats had to replace the scanner that looked for a chip installed in Tomato’s shell. The Turtle Tailer could also be programmed to track a specific gene in a turtle or other animal.

After the cats finished their repair, they headed to Sox’s grandmother’s house. They set up The Turtle Tailer, and went inside so the machine could do its work. Charlotte  made her famous Catnip Crispy Treats. Bob directed The Turtle Tailer from a catPad.

Bob and Sox had just finished all the Catnip Crispy Treats, when Bob exclaimed, “I found Tomato! She’s in the fridge!”

Charlotte meowed. “I was getting her a tomato. She must have crawled in while the door was open!’’ she said.

They opened the fridge door and there was Tomato, gorging herself on the tomatoes!

Camels

Camels are mammals. They are known for being able to survive in desert conditions without food and water for weeks at a time. They store fat in their humps. This fat is used for energy. When this energy is used, the humps deflate until the camel rehydrates.

There are two kinds of camels, the Bactrian and the Dromedary. They are easy to distinguish. Bactrian camels have two humps, Dromedaries have only one.

Humans use camels for transportation. At their maximum speed camels can run 40 miles per hour (mph) for a short period of time. They can run a steady 25 mph for a longer time.  These speeds make them about as fast as a horse.

Camels’ most common habitat is deserts. They are hunted for their wool and meat. Bactrian camels are one of Earth’s most rare mammal species. One of camels’ defensive reactions is spitting.

Camels are very interesting creatures that should be preserved.

Lainey’s Kittens

I have a cat named Lainey.  Lainey is creamy orange tabby. She is a small cat. When Lainey came to us she was a fat kitten. She was fat from then on.  Before we could have her spayed, Lainey got sick. When she was taking her medicine she couldn’t be fixed. After she was well again, we forgot about fixing her. Soon Lainey became even rounder than she already was.

Miss Lainey had kittens on the April 17th, 2014. They were born on a drizzly Thursday. Lainey gave birth to the kittens in a small cat bed. At the time the other cats were eating. She was screeching her little cat head off when she gave birth.

There were five of them in all. Two were beautiful baby girls, both calicos: one is small and more tabby-like but still a calico, and the other isn’t much larger and has a quarter of an orange tabby face. Three were sweet orange tabbies:  we know that two were boys. Sadly one of these adorable orange kittens died. Its name was Banana and the poor little kitten is always loved.

Lainey, my cousin Alanna, and I have named them Poppy the small calico, Rose the quarter tabby calico, Felix the smaller tabby, and Simon the large tabby.

Poppy is the smallest, but her eyes started to open first. Cats’ eyes usually open in five to nine days from when they are born. Lainey’s kittens will probably have theirs open in nine.

The kittens are very adorable, but not very active (yet). They huddle up with their Mom, and sit on top of each other. Best of all is when they make little noises or when they give a huge yawn and stretch their itty bitty kitten paws.

Lainey is very protective of her new kittens and loves them very much. She trusts us enough to hold the kittens even when she is around.

These kittens are lucky to have a loving, trusting and very beautiful mother.

Lainey and Her Kittens

 

 

 

The Tree Report

In this report I will discuss what a tree is, how trees naturally support our environment, what sort of life inhabits them.

Biome

Deciduous Trees

In our forest the trees are deciduous; that means they loose their leaves. The majority of trees in our forest are post oaks, but we also have juniper, and cedar elms. These are called outliers. Our forest is a biome.

Trees are a huge part of our environment. Their dead leaves make beautiful soil for the undergrowth. The dead branches create a home for bugs and fungi, and trees give out oxygen, and breathe in the carbon dioxide we breathe out. Giving out oxygen is a big help in our polluted world.

If you look at a tree compared to a human, outside the difference is obvious, inside we have somethingin common with trees.  Think about it, a tree’s sap is like our blood. The tree actually has organs, like we do. The tree’s three basic organs are the roots, the stem and the leaves.

Micro Biomes 

A tree is a micro biome. A tree is like its own environment.  It has all sorts of small mammals, birds, bugs, fungi, and parasitic invaders. The parasitic invaders are things like mistletoe. They eventually suck all the life out of their tree.

Mistletoe

 

Fungi grow on dead branches and wood.  This orange fungus is similar to the Alder Bracket tree fungus.

Tree Fungus

 

More Tree Fungus

Mammals like squirrels make hollows and sometimes eat the fruits from their host tree. Squirrels around here eat acorns from oaks.  Birds nest and raise their young in branches out of the way of humans and predators.Their nests often have leaves and twigs from the host tree.  Woodpeckers make hollows in trees 16-18 inches deep for their nests.

Bird’s Nest

Insects eat bark and leaves on trees.  They also put their egg sacs on branches, leaves, and twigs. Bees build their hive on and in the sides of trees. Wasps leave galls which are plant deformed plant tissue which act as nurseries, on leaves. Some predators leave their catch in trees which is a perfect feast for an ant colony.

Bee Tree

Galls on a Small Oak Tree

Lichen is supported by trees, especially dead trees. The first is foliose, sea green and will grow on things like tree branches. The other one is shrubby looking and it has orange platforms on it. Please see The Lichen Report for more information.

Foliose Lichen

Bibliography

Reece, Jane B., et al., Campbell Biology (ninth edition), Benjamin Cummings an imprint of Pearson,2011.

http://www.treetrees.com/alder_bracket.htm for information Alder Bracket.

http://ento.psu.edu/extension/factsheets/galls-oak

Alsop, Fred. J, III, et al., Birds of Texas, DK Publishing Inc. 2002

 

Bob and Sox at Easter

Bob has a sister. His sister has a son and daughter. Bob loves his niece Izzy and his nephew Roosevelt (or Rosie for short)  very much.

It was the day before Easter. Bob was talking to Sox about how much Izzy and Rosie loved the challenge of finding Easter eggs, when Sox exclaimed,”Bob! We should make a machine that can hide Easter eggs in hard to find places!”

Our Easter Display

“We could call it the Easter Egg Hider! The idea is perfect, Sox!”

Sox made coffee while Bob gathered up supplies. They made blue prints and then they started on the invention.

After seven hours of intense concentration, they were finally able to stand back and admire their hard work.

The Easter Egg Hider had an extendable arm, a waterproof metal covering, and a small pad for programming it to hide Easter eggs.  It had a sensor that looked at the environment and logically found places to hide eggs.  It had the appearance of a large egg on legs. It was a beautiful piece of work. Sox had done one of her famous painting jobs.

Bob stuffed it full of vibrantly colored kitty treat eggs. They were ready for Izzy and Roosevelt.

Bob woke up at seven the following morning. He called Sox, she said she would be over at eight. Next he called his sister Lainey, she was going to get there at nine.

Sox and Bob let the Egg Hider go and gosh was it wonderful. It put eggs in places not even Sox would look, and Sox was very creative in Easter Egg hunts. Some eggs were peeking out of birds nests, others on a lily pad in Bob’s pond.

When Lainey and her kittens got there, everyone joined in the fun. It took the entire day for them to find all sixty eggs. The kittens would race each other to eggs, and when they found two in the same area they would yell, “Over here!” Then at the end of the day Izzy and Rosie, as if it were rehearsed, yelled together, “BEST EASTER EGG HUNT EVER!”

Book Report: Johnny Texas

Johnny Texas

By Carol Hoff

Illustrated by Bob Meyers

Published by Jenkins Publishing Company, 1977

In the book Johnny Texas, the family is German. Johann (a.k.a. Johnny) and his father learn English. The mother Clara still isn’t too thrilled about the move, and refuses to learn English.

They buy a farm, some cows, chickens, and horses, and settle down into a one-roomed cabin. The mother isn’t too thrilled about this either. She is generally worried about wild cats, coyotes, rattle snakes, Indians, and the safety of her son.

Johnny asks his father why his mother is so worried. The father Robert tells him that his mother is homesick and was born and raised in the city. Then for the reason of protecting her, Johnny’s father teaches him how to shoot. Clara doesn’t like the idea of her ten year old boy shooting.

Robert brings home a slave named Tobias. Clara and Johnny disagree with this action. Clara asks Robert if it is really right to deny another human being the freedom and liberty they came to this country for. Robert finally agrees to free Tobias. Tobias then works for wages on their farm.

Then another surprise comes around Christmas. Johnny’s mother gives birth to a baby girl. The baby is named after her mother, Clara.

Soon after, Robert decides to fight with Sam Houston and his men against the Mexicans. To be safe Johnny and his mother move away from the cabin. Whether Johnny Texas and his family survive is for you to find out.

A note from Ella’s Mom: I think that  Johnny Texas was originally published in 1950 by Wilcox & Follett.  One of my elementary school teachers read this book aloud to our class.  That was in the 1960s, and I remember being very excited because the story was about a German family.  Now I know that Johnny’s story is probably very similar to what many German settlers in Texas experienced.